School Days
by Hiei-Rulez
Summary: [CHAPTER 3 UP] It’s your favorite LotR characters in Middle School…complete with the hormones, fatal chemistry experiments, insane gym teachers, hairy cafeteria ladies, and the bus rides from HELL!
1. I Knew I Should Have Stayed Home

**Title: School Days**

**Summary: It's your favorite LotR characters in Middle School…complete with the hormones, fatal chemistry experiments, insane gym teachers, hairy cafeteria ladies, and the bus rides from HELL!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LotR in real life…and only in my dreams do I own Faramir (swoon).**

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**I Knew I Should Have Stayed Home**

13 year old Aragorn was standing impatiently at the bus stop, staring down the empty street for any sign of the large, yellow bus that was currently MIA.

"Grrrr…c'mon c'mon c'mon…WHERE ARE YOU ALREADY?" he screamed at no one in particular, pulling at his unruly dark hair in aggravation.

Next to him, four hobbits were staring warily at the young human.

"D'you think he's alright, Sam?" one hobbit asked.

"I dunno, Frodo. Maybe all 7th graders are like that."

Sam and Frodo looked at each other, then back to the young human was mumbling under his breath and pacing restlessly, before shrugging and turning their attention back to the street. The other two hobbits remained completely oblivious to this, as they were far too busy swapping their lunches.

"What've you got, Pip?"

"I have…a bologna and cheese sandwich and potato chips. What've you got, Merry?"

"Um…let's see…I have PB&J an apple and two Twinkies!"

"I'll trade you the Twinkie for the chips!"

"Are you nuts! Chips don't rank as high as Twinkies!"

"You're right! I'll throw in three Hershey Kisses and whatever I can swipe from Frodo's lunchbox!"

"Hmmm…deal!"

They were just about to make the trade, when they heard a horrific screeching noise from around the corner. Aragorn's head snapped up and his face paled visibly. Frodo started shaking, Sam's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, Merry fell from the bench, and Pippin squealed like a girl.

"Oh Lord, no!" gasped Aragorn. "Don't tell me…_he's_ driving the bus!"

The school bus came speeding around the corner, making a sharp turn that busses of its size should not be making under any circumstances. The two wheels on the right side of the bus lifted clean up into the air, before crashing to the ground again just as the bus screeched to a stop partially on the curb. The four hobbits and one human saw at least 5 students fly from their seats and hit the front window, and heard at least two yells of "ARGH…MY EYE!" and "I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!" from some of the open ones on the sides of the bus.

The door creaked open, and the five children stared in horror at the face of Denethor.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aragorn fell to his knees screaming. Somewhere down the block, a dog howled as well.

"Hop on, kiddies!" Denethor cried, leaping out of his seat, grabbing the hobbits and throwing them on the bus. He managed to grab Aragorn by the back of his shirt, just as he tried to run and hurled him onto the bus as well.

Aragorn quickly bolted down the isle and slid into a seat next to his best friend, Legolas. The young elf was sitting rigidly in his seat, his fingers digging into the leather, his breath coming in short gasps, his face paler then usual, and his eyes were bulging in fear.

"Legolas…?"

"…"

"Um…Legolas…?"

"…….."

Aragorn turned around in his seat to face his other friends, Gimli, Boromir, and Faramir. Faramir was a year younger then they were, but he was Boromir's brother and they were all friends.

"Legolas was at the first stop, wasn't he?" Aragorn asked them.

"Yup," nodded Boromir.

"He's been like that ever since we got on," replied Gimli.

"And that was two stops ago!" added Faramir, who was latched onto his brother's arm and shaking.

Aragorn turned around again, giving Legolas a comforting pat on the back.

"How much longer 'til we reach the school?"

Denethor, somehow, must have heard him because he yelled, SIX MORE STOPS TO GO AND THEN IT'S OFF TO SCHOOL!"

Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, and Faramir all looked at each other in horror.

"WHAT?!?!" screamed Aragorn.

"SIX MORE STOPS?" yelled Boromir.

"I'm gonna die…I'm gonna die…I'm gonna die…I'm gonna die…" Faramir moaned over and over and over again as he slid down further into his seat and hid beneath his backpack.

"Anybody need duct-tape?" asked Gimli, reaching into his backpack and producing a large roll of said appliance. He got three loud replies of 'I do' before the bus gave a horrific lurch and sped off again.

"I'm on the school bus from HELL," whimpered Legolas…the first coherent thing he had said since he had gotten on the large, yellow metal death trap that served as their only mode of transportation to their educational facilities.

Denethor was cackling like the insane madman that he was as he sped around corners, flew over hills, and made no attempts whatsoever to avoid hitting speed bumps. By the time the bus reached the school, a good majority of the kids were unconscious and, or bleeding. Frodo was sprawled out in the middle of the isle, a dazed expression on his face. Sam, Pippin, and Merry were tangled in a large pile along with some other kids, and were in way too much pain to attempt to disentangle themselves. Gimli had gone flying through the air at some point during a very sudden stop and hadn't come back. Boromir and Faramir were looking rather disheveled and seemed ready to hurl. Legolas hadn't changed once since he had gotten on the bus, but his eyes were wider and his face was now a pasty white. As soon as the bus screeched to a halt, Aragorn had vaulted from his seat and out the door, diving onto the grass with a cry of relief.

"LAND! SWEET SWEET LAND!" he cried, kissing the ground.

The rest of his friends, followed by the other kids, stumbled from the bus.

"My fingers are bleeding…" moaned Legolas, gazing at his hands. "That maniac made my fingers bleed, and I can no longer feel my arm…is that bad?"

"Aragorn, please…you're making us ashamed to be seen with you!" moaned Boromir, smoothing his hair and watching his friend continue to kiss the ground without shame. The sound of wicked laughter brought their attention back to the bus.

"I'll see you at 3:00 children!" cackled Denethor before closing the doors and speeding off again in a large cloud of smoke, causing Faramir to start hacking as he tried to clear his lungs of the offending smoke. The others had paled once more.

"I'm walking home!" stated Legolas. "Who's with me?" He received a chorus of agreements.

From his spot on the ground, Aragorn groaned. "I _knew_ I should have stayed home today!"

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**Ok…somehow, my M.E. Survival Guide fic got deleted or something and I can't find the files on my computer. (kicks computer in annoyance…it fizzles and dies)**

**DAMMIT!!! (continues to yell…some are things that should not be repeated around small, impressionable minds or in civilized conversation)**

**Anyway…this was an idea that I'd been playing with for years, and I finally decided to put it up. So, yea. Please be nice with the reviews, and hopefully…when I get my life back…I will update it.**


	2. EXTREME DODGEBALL!

**YAY!!! I got reviews…and for that I shall continue!!!**

**And it was Elijah Wood's birthday on Sunday the 28th!!! (dances around singing 'happy birthday' to Elijah)**

**Ok…here's the update!!!**

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**EXTREME DODGEBALL**

"Who is the insane person who decided we have gym class this early in the morning?" grumbled Legolas as he pulled on his t-shirt.

"I don't know…but whoever it was, they're getting a call from my lawyer!" Boromir growled as he fumbled with his shoes.

Aragorn however, was the complete opposite. He looked positively giddy and was bouncing around the locker room.

"I love gym!" he crowed, dancing around. Boromir stuck out his foot, tripping up the young human and sending him sprawling on the ground.

"HEY!"

"Stop being so damn chipper!" muttered Gimli. "You're getting on my nerves!"

"Aww, c'mon guys! Gym class is awesome…it wakes you up…"

"So does coffee…" Legolas said.

"…and it gets the blood pumping…"

"I'll get your blood pumping you little maniac!" snarled Boromir making a fist.

Before Aragorn could continue, their gym teacher Sauron bellowed into the locker room, "GET YOUR LAZY CARCASSESS OUT HERE!"

The males all 'eeped' and scrambled from the room.

Sauron, the towering, terrifying figure that he was; a formidable creature that even the bravest of Orc and Urik children quiver in fear, loomed over the group of 7th graders in his entire evil splendor.

"Please don't kill us, sir!" whimpered Boromir, his eyes going wide.

A poor elfling standing in the back named Paladin burst into tears.

Sauron laughed maniacally before stepping to the side. The 7th graders all noticed the large group of 9th graders standing there holding bright red, rubber balls and sporting evil grins.

"EXTREME DODGEBALL! SEVENTH GRADERS VS. NINTH GRADERS!" bellowed Sauron.

Aragorn and Legolas looked over and noticed Elladan, his twin brother Elrohir, and their friend Eomer. 'Dan and 'Ro were elves and Eomer was human. Even though they were older, they were good friends with Legolas and Aragorn, but they still enjoyed tormenting them from time to time. So at the sounds of 'Extreme Dodgeball' their grins widened and they tossed the balls up into the air for good measure.

Legolas looked exactly how he had looked on the bus, but was now digging his fingers into Aragorn's arm. Aragorn had started hyperventilating, so he didn't even feel the pain. Gimli had screamed like a 6 year old girl, Boromir had collapsed in a dead faint, and Paladin cried even harder – a couple of other children joined him.

_45 minutes later…_

"I…hate…gym!" moaned Aragorn as he staggered from the locker room. He had a black eye and a bandage across his nose.

"Ow…ow…ow…ow…ow…ow…ow…" Legolas limped along beside him, sporting a bloody nose and a sprained ankle.

"I never knew a little red ball could hurt so much!" Boromir exclaimed while nursing his arm, his already unruly red hair even more messy then before.

"Well…when it's thrown at 90 miles and hour by burly 9th graders, then little red balls hurt like hell!" replied Gimli as best he could through a swollen lip.

The rest of their class was in no better shape. In Extreme Dodgeball, if you get hit you are not taken out. In fact…the only time you are allowed out of the game is if you fall unconscious, break a bone, or die. Until that point, the opposing team is allowed to mercilessly pelt you with balls as you lie writhing on the ground in agony screaming for sanctuary and for any God to deliver you from this evil while your insane gym teacher laughs like a maniac and screams for you to get your "lazy maggot hide" off the floor or else you fail gym class. Needless to say, the entire 7th grade class died a horrible screaming death at the hands of the 9th graders. At least 5 of them had been hospitalized, and the rest were covered in many scrapes, cuts, bruises, and open wounds.

"I think I'm gonna die!" whimpered Boromir, leaning against a wall.

"Nice game guys!" called Elladan as he walked by.

"Yea…you put up a…good…challenge!" grinned Elrohir, slapping Aragorn on the back and causing him to topple over, bringing Legolas – who was leaning against him – down as well.

"Better luck next time, little guys!" laughed Eomer. And with that, the three friends disappeared around the corner laughing.

"I hate them!" muttered Aragorn from beneath Legolas.

"I hate gym!" groaned Boromir, sliding down to the floor.

"I hate dodgeball!" whimpered Legolas and Gimli.

This was met with a unanimous groan of pain.

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**HA!!! WRITERS BLOCK…YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME!!!**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed the previous chapter!**

**Remember: I need caffeine. Mountain Dew gives me the caffeine I need to start the day. Reviews are like caffeine…they will give the sugar rush I need to write another chapter. **

**REVIEW DAMMIT…AND FEED MY ADDICTION!!!**


	3. Why Hobbits and Bunsen Burners Don't Mix

Ok!!! Yes, I realize that I haven't updated in a while…

_**Aragorn: **__try five months you lazy bum!_

HEY! Keep it up with that attitude and you will find yourself back on Denethor's bus, mister.

_**Aragorn: **__NO! Please! I have a wife and a kid at home…HAVE MERCY!!!_

_**Boromir: **__shaking his head you are an embarrassment to all mankind._

I love the power I hold over you people! Anyway…it's summer, so I should have time on my hands to update more often. So, here's the next chapter.

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**Why Hobbits and Bunsen Burners don't Mix**

There were times when Frodo Baggins loved science. Then, there were the times where he wanted to resurrect the people who created the scientific profession, drag them out into the middle of the street, and have them shot.

Today was one of the latter times.

"Attention class!" announced Gandalf; the old science teacher who everyone knew should have retired at least 75 years ago. "Today we will be learning about gases and chemicals…and to do that, we shall be using a handy little device known as a Bunsen Burner!"

Two seats over from Frodo, a young hobbit girl named Rosie raised her hand. Behind her, Frodo's best friend Sam Gamgee let out a deep sigh and continued to stare longingly at her.

"…yes?" Gandalf nodded at her.

"Um…what's a Bunsen Burner?" Rosie asked. Gandalf grinned and lifted a strange object up off the desk.

"This is a Bunsen Burner!" he exclaimed. "It creates large bursts of fire that we use to blow things up!"

In the back of the room, Pippin and Merry instantly perked up…identical evil grins on their faces. Frodo groaned and started banging his head on his desk, wondering what horrible sins he had committed in a previous life to deserve this.

The class was split into partners and each given a Bunsen Burner. They were then told to light the device and hold various test tubes filled with highly dangerous chemicals over the open flame and see what happened. And only in the world of Frodo Baggins, the young hobbit would be stuck in an uneven class and have to be put in a group of three…with Pippin and Merry.

Frodo wanted to die. And considering what was going to most likely happen in this class…dying was a high possibility.

So, with a dejected sigh he headed over to his lab table, where Pippin and Merry were waiting with smiles that spoke of the various evils that would be committed in this science class from Hell.

"Let's get this over with!" he groaned, resigning himself to his fate.

20 minutes later…

KA-BOOM!

"Wow, Merry…that was bigger then the last one!"

"Hehehe…I think it singed me eyebrows!"

Why…why…why…why…why…?" moaned Frodo, banging his head repeatedly against the wall. Gandalf came up behind the three hobbits, clapping his hands together and laughing almost maniacally.

"Excellent job, boys!" he crowed. "Now…let's see what happens when we combine gasoline with…"

BOOM!

"FIRE!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"WHERE'S THE DAMN FIRE EXTINGUISHER?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"MOMMY!"

The room was chaos…pure chaos. Desks were overturned. There were small fires in various places around the room. Some hobbits were unconscious…other hiding under desks or had fled the room screaming. Frodo stood off to the side, partially covered in ash – his left eye was twitching dangerously. Pippin, Merry, and Gandalf were all standing in front of the Bunsen Burner; eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and covered from head to toe in ash. Their hair was singed and still slightly burning.

Merry coughed out a puff of black smoke. "…cool!"

Pippin could only nod in awed agreement.

Gandalf, however, instantly started laughing. "Well done! You all get A's for the day!"

Pippin and Merry grinned and high-fived.

Frodo collapsed in a dead faint.

And from underneath a desk, Sam shook his head and said, "We all saw this coming…didn't we?"

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And there we are…and update, at last! 

_**Frodo: **__I NEARLY DIED! YOU INSANE WOMAN…YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!_

And face the wrath of a million fangirls? Yeah, right…like I have a death wish! Besides…I would never kill you!

_**Frodo: **__I am _so _going to need therapy after this!_

_**Aragorn: **__Can I come?_

_**Faramir: **__I think we all are gonna need it!_

You all are such wimps. Geez…have a few explosions and a game of extreme dodgeball, and suddenly everyone feels the need to write out their wills. They'd better have me in them!

Anyway…need reviews. Thank you!!!


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